Resolving Conflict

   All of us, whether young or young at heart, married or single, mother or not, will encounter conflict in our lives. The way we handle conflict becomes either an amazing opportunity to give God glory in how it is resolved, or a thorn in our side that we struggle to get right.

Many of the hurts of my past resulted in a great deal of conflict in my life. And all of you have had events in your life, both negative and positive, that have shaped your ability to resolve conflict and more importantly, your willingness to do so.

Proverbs 11:2 says Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

What are some of the things in our lives that cause conflict?  There are many, but here are just a few:

• Insecurity – (Whether our own insecurity or someone else’s, it can cause major problems.)
• Misunderstanding  - (Sometimes we simply misunderstand someone’s intention.)
• Satan’s plan of division – (Why wouldn’t he cause conflict & division? He’s masterful at it).
• Exhaustion – (When we are doing too much, too often, and not resting, conflict arises.)

 All of us will face misunderstandings or exhaustion and many have dealt with insecurity, so, what do we do to resolve these conflicts well?

Issue grace.  – Most of us would rather receive grace than issue it. It’s easier for us to see all the reasons why God should give us grace, because our heart is good and we’re good people and we didn’t mean to fail Him – than it is for us to see the good in others and just give them a break.  Maybe they are completely unreasonable. And maybe you are completely right. But it’s so important for us to look at how we can maintain and mend relationships than how we can be right.  (Ephesians 4:3 – Make every effort to keep yourselves united in Spirit, binding yourselves together in peace.)

Take your offense directly to the person. (See Matthew 18:15.) Friends, it is unfair to assume others in our lives know what we are hurt about, when we don’t talk to them about it. And it is even more unfair to discuss it with others when you haven’t discussed it with them. And we do both. Don’t gossip about it. Don’t fester about it. Take it to them in love. And when you take it to them, take it to them in hopes of resolution with a pure heart - not in hopes that you can convince them how right you are.

Speak life over the situation. The power of life and death are in the tongue. (Prov. 18:21)  Most of us are church girls/boys, men/women. We get it. We understand about keeping our tongue in line with God’s word. Yet, we struggle to do so. When we want to resolve conflict, we must speak honor over those we are in relationship with. If you think you can speak negatively about your friend, your brother, your sister, your pastor, your boss, your Bible study leader, and NOT grow division in your heart, you are wrong.  Wouldn’t our lives be so much better if we could just watch our mouths?  Never make light of the king, even in your thoughts. And don’t make fun of the powerful, even in your own bedroom. For a little bird might deliver your message and tell them what you have said. (Ecclesiastes 10:20)

Battle your thoughts.  Philippians 4:8 says to fix our thoughts on whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable.  You cannot keep playing in your mind over and over and over what they said, what they did, an expect resolution. You cannot keep negative thoughts from coming into your mind. But it is your choice what you do with them, when they get there.

Friends, we are all armor bearers of something. Whether it’s your spouse, a friendship, your pastor, your boss, a ministry you are passionate about, your kids --- you are championing the cause for something and someone. And as such, you must begin to see yourself as mightily carrying the armor for someone else in your life to complete their mission – just as there are those in your life bearing armor for you.

What’s at stake if we don’t battle well? Rest assured, the conflict will grow. It becomes bigger than it ever needed to be. It shapes us. We become bitter, anger, and offended and no one can stand to be around us, instead of humble and graceful and strong. And we will also be so distracted with the conflict that we don’t focus on fulfilling our purpose. How could we be busy about our Father’s business, when we’re telling anyone who will listen about our conflict?

Let’s decide today that we are going to be problem solvers, not problem seekers. And when conflict does seek us out, we’ll be strong women/men of God who see it for what it is and determine in our hearts that we’ll overcome it with God’s help.

God bless you.

Encountering Misguided Prophecies: When to Say No to a Thus Saith The Lord

Twenty-three-year-old George Whitefield sat on a ship ready to sail for America from the port of Deal, located approximately 70 miles southeast of London. For some time, he had experienced a compelling call to preach the gospel to colonial America and now the day for his departure had finally arrived. His heart was filled with gratitude, excitement and expectation.

As he waited for the ship's crew to hoist anchor and sail, a letter was delivered to him from John Wesley who had just returned from a failed mission to Georgia. He opened the letter and was stunned by what he read. Wesley wrote that when he saw that the same wind that brought him in was taking Whitefield out, he inquired of the Lord about Whitefield's journey. Wesley emphatically stated that the word God gave him for Whitefield was, "Let him return to London."

Whitefield was shocked and momentarily confused. Wesley was 10 years his senior and had been a mentor to him. He held the Wesley brothers, John and Charles, in very high esteem. However, this word from John contradicted everything he believed about his call to America.

Whitefield went to prayer, and as he prayed, there came to his mind a story from the Old Testament about a "man of God" who lost his life because he listened to the words of an "old prophet" instead of diligently adhering to what God had instructed him.

I Kings 13 tells this story of the unnamed "man of God" whom God instructed to go to Bethel and prophesy against the idolatrous altars that had been established there by King Jeroboam. God also instructed him not to stop to eat or drink but to return directly home to Judah when he had completed his assignment.

Based on this directive from the Lord, he went to Bethel. As he prophesied against the idolatrous altars, they miraculously split apart, and the ashes were poured out on the ground. As he departed Bethel according to the Lord's instructions, an "old prophet," who heard of what had happened, saddled his donkey, caught up with the "man of God" and invited him to his home to eat and drink.

When the "man of God" recounted to the "old prophet" what the Lord had instructed him, the "old prophet" said, "'I am a prophet like you, and an angel spoke to me by the word of the Lord, saying, 'Bring him back with you into your house so that he may eat bread and drink water'" (1 Kings 13:18). The "old prophet," however, was lying.

The "man of God" went back with the "old prophet" in contradiction to the instructions the Lord had given him; and as a result of his disobedience, he lost his life and was not buried in the burial ground of his ancestors.

With this story so vividly impressed on his mind, Whitefield knew what he must do. He sent back a reply to Wesley in which he said, "I cannot return to London." Whitefield said no to Wesley's "thus saith the Lord."

History has demonstrated that Whitefield made the correct decision, for he became the major figure in the Great Awakening that rocked Colonial America and prepared her for statehood. Everywhere he went, great revival followed his preaching.

Because of God's blessing on his labors, he became the most recognizable person in colonial America and Thomas S. Kidd, who teaches history at Baylor University, calls him "America's Spiritual Founding Father."

We can all be thankful that Whitefield said no to Wesley's "thus saith the Lord."
I pray that God will helps us to always take the right decision[s] at all time in Jesus name. Amen...! 

Pasted from: Charisma Magazine.

God bless you.

The Flesh

   If a man or woman does not know himself/herself or who he/she truly is, nine out of ten times, he will take the wrong decision. That is why spiritual knowledge is very crucial.

Who Are You?

   Do you know who you are? Do you know why you do the things that you do? Do you know why you respond to situations the way that you respond? Do you know why you get angry? Do you know why you don’t get angry? Do you know why you make the choices you make? Do you know what motivates your life?

 

If you don’t know who you are, nine out of ten times, you will take the wrong decisions. And if somebody keeps taking the wrong decision, his life can never make any progress.

    As a reminder,  man is - spirit - soul and body.  The body, which is known as the FLESH, is the outer part. Let us use an egg as an illustration; an egg is made up of three parts, the shell, albumen (the white matter) and the yoke. The real life is inside the yoke. But the shell is necessary as a house ,case container for the yoke and the albumen, once you break the shell, the egg is finished you don’t have an egg anymore. Once the shell is broken, the shell has finished its work, it is thrown away, it can’t be used again for the same purpose.

   That is the way the body of a human is once this flesh is destroyed, once it is broken, the spirit man and the soul goes out, and we say or hear,  a man is dead. But while the man is alive, his flesh has the capacity to suffocate the spirit-man and suffocate the soul. However, whatever God is going to do in any life, God is going to work through the spirit.

   Therefore, your flesh must be submissive; your flesh must be broken . The resistance and the sinfulness that is in the flesh must be destroyed. When people do terrible things, they smoke, they commit adultery, they tell lies, and they gamble, it is not the devil, it is the flesh. When people gossip, slander, harbour unforgiveness, or are malicious, it is not Satan, it is the flesh.

   There are people whose lives are controlled by the flesh. They never mind their own business, it is not the devil, it is the flesh. There are people who bear grudge, they are so stingy, so selfish, some are so self-centred, and yet some are so proud; for some they crave for recognition and unless you give them, there will be trouble. It is not Lucifer, it is the flesh. If the flesh is what is controlling a life; the person is going to have a hard life. You will be wondering why people don’t like you, you will wonder why wherever you go people seem to resist you, and you will wonder why you pray, and it never get answered. What some people do is that they transfer the responsibility of their personal weakness to a devil. Some transfer it to an invisible and imaginary enemy and some churches encourage them by teaching them to pray: “All the enemies of my life, all the enemies of my progress, all the enemies in the village, all the enemies in Lagos.”

   The bitter truth is, there is no enemy anywhere; you are the enemy of yourself

If you don’t know yourself, you will not face reality, you will keep blaming other peole. It is unfortunate, there are a lot of Christians who blame everybody under the sun but themselves, but in actual fact, they are the problem of themselves.

   Many claim ancestors who are supposed to be sleeping in peace inside the grave are responsible for their problem.  Some will say they are going to break ‘ancestral covenants’.  which they believe are the ones that keep troubling them every time.What has ancestral covenants got to do with you?

   “They say it is something in the village that the ancestors used to worship...  The scriptures say, “if any man be in Christ, he is a new creation, old things are passed away.” Whatever your ancestors worshipped, he has died with it. If you chose not to worship that thing, it cannot exercise dominion over you. It can’t.  It is what you surrender yourself to that can have dominion over you. So if you surrender yourself to anger, anger will have dominion over you, if submit yourself to unforgiveness, unforgiveness will have dominion over you. If you submit yourself to adultery, adultery will control your life, when you surrender yourself to drinking; drinking of alcohol will control your life. The bible says, “Whoever you yield your members to, the servant you are” if you submit to a man, then you become the servant of that person... (to be continued)

God bless you.